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*'*P*'*L*'*0*'*P*'*S**''** P*'*A*'*G*'*E*'*S׺°”˜`”°º×If At First You Don't Suceed Then Bunjee Jumping Is Not The Sport For You ׺°”˜`”°º×
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June 27 poetryPOETRY
There's just one slight problem
In a teashop away from public view
Two lovers meeting for a rendezvous
Not noticing others, their looks coded
Language, mannerisms overloaded
Leaving the first stages of courtship behind
The future beckons in the womans mind
Needing to plan for the rest of life
To share more than a meal and a beer
She whispers in her lovers ear
'have you told the wife?
May 13 ShoppingShopping
I've made a very long shopping list
And I'm at the superstore
I really don't like this shopping lark
I find it quite a bore.
I've found a trolley it's got a wonky wheel
and i'm pushing it up the aisles
I need toothpaste, tissues and headache pills
oh' and something for my piles
But now i'm looking out for deals
Bargains, i just love them
I can't resist em see
i don't need all this stuff
But it's buy one get one free
I've been shopping over an hour now
My trolleys full to the top
i really think that i have spent
enough money in this shop
i've finally reached the checkouts
a long queue is at the tills
and now ive got a headache
where did i put those pills
A minute passes, i need a wee
But i wait till i get home
then pour a cup of tea
i feel fit to drop
but thank god ive done the weekly shop
January 28 The Battle Of The SexesThe Battle Of The Sexes
As a woman i write this plea
To men, please Listen to me
The battle of the sexes will never end
And so to males this verse i send
Not everything is black and whitw
You say we're wrong when we know we're right
You should realise when we're feeling low
Dont ask us why , Men should know
Perhaps its something you didn't say
Like maybe, Your hair looks nice today
Or maybe you haven't understood
That our day was bad but we said it was good
Believe us, shopping is not a chore
We need to go to more than one store
To help decide just what to buy
Be patient with us, Give it a try
And remember please, for future use
We can never have too many shoes January 25 poemDads DIY
My dad insists on doing D I Y
Even tho mum always begs him not too
And each time when things go wrong
He always asks , what did i do ?
Handle drop off, doors fall from their hinges
window panes smash as they bounce from the frames
Walls come crashing down, tiles fly from the roof
And household appliances go up in flames
His latest disaster we all reckon
is easily most impressive of all
He should have just called in a plumber
And avoided the puddles in the hall January 24 childrenCHILDREN
Since having my two children
my brain has turned to jelly
Not to mention the stretchmarks
On my big, fat wobbly belly
My boobs have headed southward
My waist's a distant memory
The future's cellulite on thighs
But do i care ? Not a bit
Size zero is just not for me
So give me a plate of fish and chips
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